Fool
by Quiet.crash
Summary: Ritsu is a fool... mostly Takano's POV. Rated M for the last chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi.**

_He did it again. He pushed me away. _

He's trying to run away again and again every time he sees me. He's going out of his way to avoid me. I guess he really doesn't love me since it goes like this for a couple of weeks already. It's painful. Very much.

'Stop it Takano-san!' He struggles to get away from me. 'I'm going to work and so should you!' Since he is my neighbour I ran on him when we were both leaving. However we met like this for the first time in quite a while - he gets up very early not to meet me and this time I did the same. When I saw him he immidiately tried to go inside again but I pinned him to the wall. That's why he pushed me. _Pain_.

I wanted to talk to him. That's why I did this. I'm not letting him go unless we talk. And I told him that. He realized that he won't win with me because I'm stronger than him and he gave up struggling. 'What do you want to talk about?'

'Us.'

'There is NOTHING between us! And I want it to stay like this!'

It felt like he stabbed me on heart. 'Do you really mean it?' I didn't want to hear his answer 'cause I already knew it.

'Definitely yes! Now please let me go to work!'

It's not like I wasn't preparing myself for something like that. He was giving his all to convince me that I'm a burden to him and he doesn't want me. I met with him today to make him tell me his feelings straight. I needed this. I still had some hope before today. But now it's all over. He told me while looking in the eye that he doesn't love me and he never will.

I stood there with a sharp pain in my chest while he disappeared on the staircase. I felt warm tears welling up in my closed eyes. _No! Don't cry! Not here! ... And not now. You still have some time before work to pull yourself together. That's good. Go home and prepare for work. Work. WORK. _

That's it. I got into my apartament, headed to the bathroom and washed my face with freezing cold water. Work. Thinking about my authors I closed the door to my house and made my way to Emerald office of Marukawa Shoten. This is going to be a long day.

When I entered my office I was almoast as cool and composed as ever. Well, that's what people thought. However inside me there was a storm of feelings. I was burning. And I knew that it'll end with nothing inside me. Just like then... The fire will spare nothing.

I answered some "mornings" as always and got into the elevator. _Shit. It's Yokozawa. _

'G'morning, Masamune'

'Morning' I said.

'Can I bring you Sorata tonight? I'm going out and he is missing you.'

'Yeah why not. I'll go with you to get him when I finish my work.'

'Okay see you then!' Looks like he didn't realize anything. He seemed distracted. Good for me.

He stepped out of the elevator. On the next floor I did the same. Then I entered the Emerald office.

And there he was. Working.

Taking a deep breath I passed him and sat on my chair. He didn't greet me and I couldn't do this too. It was still too early. I still could hear his words. There was too much emotion in me. Too much pain. _No! Work! You can't disappoint your authors. You have to make people think that nothing happened. If they start to ask you it will be only more difficult. Besides it will bother Onodera and that is what you DON'T want. Think only about your work!_

I sighed. Even if he didn't love me i stll loved him. But now I was in work and I had my duties. Feeling my chest and head start throbbing I focused on my work hoping I can just forget about everything else and drown in it.

That's how I managed to the end of the day. I think Yokozawa saw that something is not good with me when we were at his home but he was in a hurry so he didn't ask. I'm glad that he had to go out tonight. I can spend some time with Sorata. This cat I picked back in highschool and Yokozawa took him from me when Ritsu leaved me for the first time. I was heartbroken and he said that if i can't even look after myself I'll accidentaly kill Sorata so he will take him. I never really recovered from this crush and so Sorata stayed with him. But today he's with me. Just when I need him. My first friend. He don't ask stupid questions or try to scold me. He just senses that I need help and gives it to me. He lays on my chest purring and clinging trying to comfort me. Again like all this years ago. Just like then Onodera Ritsu broke my heart. And just like then I'm curled on the floor in my house crying. I never cry. This is actually the second time in my life. And it is worst than the first time.

I spend the whole night on the floor with Sorata in my arms, crying. Finally I fell asleep lulled by my sobs and his purring.

When I woke up in the morning my head was throbbing with pain and so were my muscles after a night on the floor but I felt numb and hollow. I didn't have any ters left but even if I had I wouldn't cry anymore. I wanted just to lie there and do nothing though the floor was freezing cold. However that didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Why would something? He... Onodera Ritsu... my crush from the very highschool... Left me once. My fault. And now the second time. Why...? I guess this is my fault too. First time it was him who confessed first. In the beggining I thought he's just some minor irritating idiot. But... I fell in love with him. And I started feel embarassed when I was with him. Then... he asked me if I do love him. I was nervous and realized the answer is "yes". I chuckled on my own stupidity. He was so cute. But this was the worst mistake in my life. He misunderstood this little laugh. And so he runned away leaving me with my newly born but oh so strong love. I never saw him nor heard anything from him. Once though when i was in the university I met one of my old friends who told me that someone from Ritsu's old class had fiancé and was with someone at the same time. When he told me how this guy looked like I knew. My Ritsu. What does it mean? He was... ingaged? That made me wonder: had he ever loved me...? And so I ended up devastated and Yokozawa and Sorata helped me.

But this time...

When I met him for the first time after ten years I didn't recognize him. But then I heard how he was talking about books. I had fallen in love with him in the school library. And this guy... Then my suspicions were confirmed. HE was my lost love. He told me why he had left. My fault. It was my fault that both of us was suffering. But when I saw him with tears in his beautiful eyes I forgot about my pain. I wanted to comfort him. There and then. I kissed him for the second time. Now I know why I didn't recognize him by that kiss. Back in highschool he wanted me. But now he was heartbroken and he still haven't forgiven me. I wanted him so much. But I was forcing him to everything. From hugs and kisses to sex. He didn't want me from the start. My fault. I was trying to convince him to love me so hard that he grew to hate me. This cause me so much pain. I didn't have any tears left but instead of feeling numb I was in pain again. It was agony. Serves me right. I should suffer.

_-purrrrr-_

Sorata!

Right I can't do the same thing I did then. I was just laying dead inside watching blankly the ceiling. Sorata was with Yokozawa so... But this time my friend was with me trying his best to comfort me. I won't make Yokozawa take him away again. I won't fall like then!

_Now Sorata is probably hungry. Go make him some food. He deserves it. _

I got up from the floor and prepared something to eat. But only for my cat. I wasn't hungry and even if I was I couldn't swallow anything - my throat was too tight.

Today is Sunday. Good. I will pull myself together and when I go to work I will be like nothing happened. But I have to ask Yokozawa to let Sorata stay with me for some time. He will keep me from accidentaly killing myself or going insane. _He dosen't love you. _I froze. Fuck. I need a cigarette. Smoking was helping me always when I was feeling stressed. I started smokig much more since Onodera came here. And now... I have to buy some 'cause I'm going to smoke a lot now. Much more than ever. And I need something to drink. Something strong.

'Help yourself Sorata' I said giving him his bowl. He thanked me purring and started eating. What now? I can't think about _this_ again or I will end up insane. _Work_. Yeah work is good thing. I did almost everything yesterday but there always is something to do, right?

Sorata. Cigarettes. Alcohol. Work. This has to keep me from thinking about... _Yeah, it HAS to work out. _

Sorata came to sit with me on the couch while I was working: cigarette im my mouth and a bottle beside my papers. _Now let's start with this. _

And so started my new life: with a cat, addictions and overwhelming pain.

**Hi minna-san! It is my first fanfiction ever so I'm fully aware that it probably isn't very good. Besides english isn't my first language so there must be some mistakes. Sorry for them. Anyway I want to improove soon so please leave a comment - I'm waiting for them, good or not :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi.**

What do I need to do now? I've got several pages of that manuscript, three projects to confirm and... oh yes. Oh NO. I somehow managed to pull everything without talking to him. Unless there was someone around. But now... there is noone. And I have to talk about that party with him. No good.

_What the hell! Get a grip, Masamune! Don't act like a child! Stop avoiding him. Kisa, Hatori and Mino are going to find out. They already asked if everything is okay when you haven't heared them three times asking you if they can go home. Go and talk to him he won't kill you! _ Ha! Maybe not literally.

'Onodera.' I spoke. There were only two of us in the whole office.

'Yes?' He was hesitant. It's already two weeks since I decided to make him happy and give up on him. Two long weeks. I survived only thanks to Sorata. He wouldn't stop mewling until I eat something. He's making me eat every single day though sometimes I am so exhausted I don't give a damn.

'We need to talk.' He started panicking, I could see it so I inhaled a big breath of nicotine and continued.'About that party.' I think he still wasn't sure about my intentions.

'Ah right. The party... Can we talk about it later? I forgot to bring the materials from home. I'm sorry but can I come to your place tonight? Y-you see... m-my apartament...' Why? Why he is doing it to me? I should say no. 'Yeah why not. Next time though do not forget. I don't appreciate half-assed work, you know that.' I think I'm becoming a masochist. Why did I say yes? _Oh well. Never mind why. If you were stupid enough to wait with this talk until you are alone you sure could invite him to your apartament. Now stop this staring and go home. He can't see this mess._

'Takano-san?' I shivered. 'Is e... are you okay?' Actually I was getting sick but the storm in me amost calmed down. I was nearly empty. This means something like getting sick didn't really bother me. Why shoud it? Now I only cared about Sorata. And my work. Ocasionally about something else but caring about myself? _Actually you should but answer him. He's watching you. _

'Yeah. It's just cold since windows are open and it's already December.' Well this isn't entirely lie.

'Oh. Yeah it is a little cold here. Well I'll go now. See you at night!' He left. I don't get him. He always tried to stay away from my home as far as he could and now he wants to work? There? With me? _Yeah... it's strange... but on the other hand he always was strange. Nothing new. Go and hide all those bottles before he comes. That's more important now._

Hm... To tell the truth apart from Sorata, work and my addictions this... voice is another reazon I'm not dead or insane yet. It helps me. A lot. Always knows what to do and how to protect me. Whoever it is I have to thank him. Or her. _No problem. Now go and clean your apartament. _ Or maybe I'm just insane to some extent. I can think clear but I hear a voice in my mind. That don't bother me very much. _And it should. Go home already people are staring. _

Just when I ended cleaning and hiding my bottles and pills (yeah, sometimes alcohol just isn't enough) I heared my doorbell. _Surprisingly good timing. _I went to open the door.

'Um... g-good evening Takano-san!' I let him in. 'Here is my project of the party. Could you look at it?' I could feel my head and chest throbbing. Just why have I said yes?

'Sure.' Fuck. I needed some cigarette. Now. 'Come in.'

He sat on the couch and prepared his papers while I went to kitchen and made him tea. I couldn't resist and for myself i got some rum._ Yeah and bring your pills. You sure have some stupid ideas. _

I sat on the couch beside him. Shit I didn't expect it to be THAT difficult. And I don't know how long he is going to stay here. Fuck this. _Work. You will be working. Just like in the office. But here you have Sorata. And some rum. You'll be okay._ I sighed and grabbed his project.

'Now it's not bad. Just like this and it'll be ok.' We just ended working on the party project. That's bad. The whole time he had been here I was in pain. Good thing I managed to hide everything from him. But I don't think I can do this for long time since now. I'm more and more weak. Suddenly Sorata started mewling on my knees. He was there all the time. 'Oh, yes.'

Ritsu watched from his place as I stand up, go to the kitchen, grab some sandwich and bite it. 'are you happy now?' I asked my cat who started to purr. 'That's good.' I yawned. This meeting was quite tiring and I wasn't sleeping well for two weeks now. I was exausted.

'Um... Takano-san?' I looked at him and fought not to turn my eyes away. 'Umm... A-are you okay?' _No way! HE is asking YOU is everything with you okay! Is he an idiot or what? I bet his next question will be "what happened?"! Moron!_

'Yeah. Why?'

'Well y-you look a little sick. A-and you were somehow distracted today. Are you s-sleeping well?' I stared at him in disbelieve. Am I okay? Am I sleeping well? _He's unbelievable... _Finally I put myself together and answered him: 'Y-yeah. It's just a cold. I'm... okay...' _What is he playing? The hell I don't get this guy at all!_

'Oh. um... t-that's good... em... you don't need anything?' No. No! Just get out! Quickly! 'No.T-thank you.' Oh no. My chest. My throat. My head! 'But I'm a little sleepy so...' He was shocked that I was kicking him out but I couldn't take it anymore.

'O-oh. Okay. Um... Good night Takano-san.' He glanced at my empty bottle of rum and my cigarette (the fifth this night) and finally disappeared. I collapsed on the couch. _Good job Masamune. You did well. _

And that's when I broke.

I couldn't take this pain. Fucking hell what was that? First he tells me that there is nothing between us and that's how he wants this and then, two weeks later, he comes to my house and he asks me if I'm okay? What is wrong with him? I tried to win him for a year. And when I finally give up he's like that? _Stop it Masamune. Don't think about him. Just leave it. Go sleep._

But my pain don't stop. What to do? My cigarettes, alcohol even my pills don't work. The pain is just too much. I can feel knives stabbing my chest and head. And It's just an emotional pain. What if... _No. Don't do that. You are already devastating yourself with smoking, drinking, pills and lack of sleep and eat. Masamune! You are not like that! Stop it!_ But it was already too late. I held a kitchen knife. I stared at it. And started to wonder what it would be like if... if this knife slid through my flesh? Would it be painful? More than the agony I feel now?

_Masamune! _

Too late...

I held my arm under the water. It was painful. But it somehow gave me my release. Even if only a little. I felt... better. _You are an idiot! Stop the damned bleeding! You should never do this! What if someone finds out! They will send you to the hospital. And to a psychiatrist! Do you even know what you just did! You cut yourself with a kitchen knife!_ Yeah and it wasn't that bad...

I was having a cold shower. To cool down. When the bleeding stops I need to hide it somehow. Good I made it kinda high.

I stepped out from the shower and dried myself with a towel. Then I wrapped my cut in some clean cloth and went to the bedroom. Sorata was there in my bed. I forgot to close the window so my room was as cold as the water in my shower. Shit. Now I will definitely be sick as hell. I closed the window and crawled under my sheets closing my eyes and pulling Sorata closer. I heared a purr and then I fell asleep.

_I always knew you were kinda stupid and look - you're sick! _ Oh yeah. Thanks to that opened window and cold shower. _Normally you wouldn't be that sick even if you have spent all night wet outside. _But now it's not normal. And I couldn't really open my eyes. My lids were too heavy. Finally I managed to take a look at my clock. It was too early. Or I read wrong time. My vision is so blurry I'm not sure. Oh well. Who cares. I will go to work anyway. _Are you serious? Tell me you are kidding! _ I can't help it - everything here reminds me of yesterday night. _Oh... That's a problem..._

-knock knock knock-

!

_! Don't tell me it's him!_

'Takano-san? Are you okay?' What the hell? 'Takano-san! Why didn't you come to work today?' So I really red the wrong time. Shit. Maybe if I don't answer he'll go away?

'Oy Masamune!' Fuck it's Yokozawa! He definitely won't go away. _Holy shit! The knife! _ Oh no. I forgot to clean it and it's still in the bathroom!

I jumped from the bed and hurried to hide it though my vision was still blurry (good I remembered my apartament by heart) and I felt so numb... Somehow I managed to get the knife. Blood was already dry and sticked to it so I throwed it under my mattress. The had to hear me because they started to bang at my doors. I sighed and went to open the door.

'Masamune!' 'Takano-san!' Wow they are here together and they don't fight. Strange. What was even more strange - they stood there with stupid expressions on their faces and they were staring at me.

'What?' Uh it hurt my throat and everyone could here it.

'I believe you said it is cold?' Yokozawa said slowly. 'Masamune you look like you're already dead! What the hell!' Sorata came and jumped at me mewling. I catched him and cuddled his head. 'Yokozawa I'll keep him here for a while. 'kay?' He was dumbfounded. I acted like he haven't spoken. 'Thanks. By the way what are you doing here?' I was speaking to Yokozawa. Yesterday night was still too alive in my memory.

'You didn't come to work today. And noone knew why. Only this idiot could tell us that you catched a cold. Why didn't you call in sick?'

I sighed. 'I just woke up. I believe I haven't heared my alarm.'

'God, Masamune, you're so stupid...'

'Yeah whatever. Now could you please leave? I'd like to go back to my bed before it gets cold.' Maybe I didn't speak to him but he still was there staring at me. I couldn't take it anymore.

'But-'

'Just leave. I really can take care of myself by myself.' _Liar. You can't. Without this cat you would die because you wouldn't eat anything. But they can't stay here. They'll find everything. _Thet's why I'm kicking them out.

'Bullshit. You look like you are ready to fall.'

I glared at him. 'I just want to sleep. You don't need to stay here.'

'Umm... Takano-san... I-I think you n-need some help.'

I stared at Onodera for a while. What does he want?

'But certainly not from you. If you stay here he'll just get more sick. Go away.' Ah here they are. Fighting over me. But today I definitely agree with Yokozawa. Ritsu will kill me if he stays here. I already can feel my head throbbing with unbearable pain. I leaned against the wall and send them a glare again.

'You know I am perfectly capable of living on my own. If I needed you I would tell you that. Now I'm going to sleep so you can go home. And stop yelling.' They were staring at me for a while. I am harsh but not so much. _Hope they'll think that it's 'cause od you are sick. _

I sighed annoyed and closed the door before their very faces. Sorata mewled. I locked the door and went to bed.

'Fine! As you wish! But I'll come back here tomorrow to check on you!' True friend. I have to make it up to him.

'Thanks!' I tried to yell but I ended up coughing like crazy. Shit. I crawled back to my bed and started to plan my week. Today I'm pretty bad, I suppouse, but tomorrow it would be better. And the day after I think I'll go to work.

'Yeah' I sighed thinking about all this pile what is wainting on my desk.

Then I falled asleep.

**So how was it? Did you like it? Leave a camment please, I'm waiting for it! :)**

**You know what? I hate Onodera Ritsu. He's a coward. So I write about how Takano is suffering because of him. But I hope even Ritsu will finally come to terms with his feelings ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here it goes - Ritsu's chapter.**

**I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi.**

I closed the door to my apartament and leaned against it. Sure Takano-san is difficult. But to be so harsh? He never was like this. I've never seen him like this. I... he is sick. That's why he...

I moved from the door and made my way to the bathroom. I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I couldn't do this for two weeks already. Why..?

_Because you love him._

This can't be true. After he broke my heart i promised to myself I will never fall in love again. I didn't want to suffer. And then I started working in Marukawa - with my first love as my boss. The hell what was that? And he... he told me that loves me. That it was nervous chuckle back then and I misunderstood him and he loved then and for the ten years we were apart he still loved me and now he will make me love him again!

_You love him stupid. You too loved him for this whole ten years. _No! I do not! _Yes you do! And yet you are too frightened to admit it. What was that two weeks ago? He asked you if you love him and you said you don't and you never will. Who was harsh back then? _

Oh no... I don't want to think about it. But... After that morning scene he... he isn't like himself. He looks like he is distrected all the time. And he loosed his weight...? I couldn't stop staring at him while he was working. I was angry at myself but I couldn't help it. Lately he had dark circles under his eyes and most of all... he didn't speak to me. He didn't speak to me, make a move at me. Nothing. Just like... oh god... like there is nothing between us.

I felt nauseus. It was... my fault? Hell did he give up on me? _Who wouldn't? He loved you so much. Even you could notice that he'd do anything for you. And yet you rejected him. It must've be painful for him. Every time he wanted to show you his love you pushed him away. But do you know what was the worst?_

No no no NO I don't! I don't want to know! Leave me alone! _You gave him hope. _No! _He kissed you. He had sex with you. And you gave in every time. At first you were struggling but he was stronger than you. And then you gave in. You let him kiss and caress you. You wanted him to hug you and tell you how important you are to him. You miss it. Stop lying. You love him and you know it. _

Noooo... why? Why..? I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. Why did it turned up to be like this? I can't take it. I can't! Did I really make him suffer? Do I... do I l-love him...? No... It can't be true. But... he really... he... I have to... I...

Suddenly I felt angry. That's enough! I dried myself with towel, changed into my pajamas and made my way to my bed. I crawled onto it and burried myself in sheets and pillows. I needed to think. I made him suffer. I really did it. He loved me. That's true. No. YES! THAT IS TRUE! HE LOVED ME BACK THEN AND HE LOVES ME NOW! Or maybe... shit... maybe he... no...NO... HE DOES LOVE ME. He... He still loves me. Even if I told him t h a t. Shit. I was stupid. I was so stupid! How could I be so harsh to him? How could I...?

I felt tears running down my face. I was so stupid. I have to go and tell him. Tell him I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... Takano -san...

Suddenly I heard something. From his apartament. I heard h i m. But... it was a moan... he was... in pain...? Oh no... No!

I jumped from my bed and made my way outside my bedroom, my apartament and finally i banged at his door. Noone answered. But then I heard a thud and another moan. No! I didn't have his key. I runned down the stairs to the landlady. I had to look very... specific 'cause she just gave me the key without any question. Good. I flood up the stairs and opened his door. Where is he. Another moan. In the bathroom. I runned in and froze. There he was. Laying on the floor. In the pool of his own blood. With a bloody kitchen knife in his hand. Moaning quietly with pain written on his beautiful face. What had happened here? What the fuck?

'Takano-san' I yelled finally waking and runned to him. 'Takano-san! No!'

**So Ritsu finally understood that he was a coward and unsensitive moron. Yeah. I hope you liked it ;) Please leave some reviev, I'm really wating for it!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for reading! I hope you like it ;)**

**I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi.**

I woke up at the annoying sound. Something was dripping. And monotoniously beeping. What the hell? And then I remembered. I went to the bed after Yokozawa and Onodera had gone home. Then I fell asleep. And then a sharp pain woke me up. Oh god. _Yeah. You forgot about that damned knife in your bed and you layed at it. Moron._

Well that certainly wasn't very intelligent. What then... I went to the bathroom trying to stop the bleeding from my chest but I slipped and fell to the floor. Sorata was mewling like hell. And then. Then I think I was unconscious because after some banging at my door there was silent for a little while and then Ritsu - RITSU - came in and started to yell at me that I have to stay with him, that I can't die 'cause... No that certainly was a dream. I was sick so it was only my feverish brain.

But somehow I ended up here. And this is obviously a room in the hospital. How...?

I looked around the room and I noticed Onodera on the chair. So I'm still sleeping. Or I'm dead and I created a place in nowhere where he is here. Oh well. Who cares about it. He didn't notice me. He was talking on the phone with someone. That's quite a realistic scene. I tried to move a little and then the pain came. A little too realistic. I winced and then he noticed I'm awake. He hung up and took a deep breath. And then...

§§§ Onodera's POV

'Takano-san...' I started quietly. I promised myself I'll do it. No matter what I have to tell him. 'I'm sorry.' He winced again and his eyes widened. And then I broke.

'I-I'm so so so sorry Takano-san! I should never ever tell you any of that! It was a lie! The biggest lie in my life!' I started to cry. Shaking uncontrollably I kneeled beside his bed. 'I'm so sorry. I was so cruel. Forgive me Takano-san! I beg you forgive me!' He was shocked. I could hear his gasp when I started to cry. His eyes were wide open and he was staring at me in disbelieve. Finally I choked out what I came to tell him that night. 'I-I love you!'

He froze. I looked up at him. He was so astonished he nearly forgot to breath. But... did he love me too? Or was I too late? Oh no please I'd do anything just love me back! I beg you Takano-san!

'R-ritsu...' he whispered. 'What are you doing?' WHAT? What am I doing? 'Why are you here?' Oh no. No no no. He doesn't believe me. He still thinks that I hate him!

'You don't have to...'

'NO! I have! I really do have! Forgive me Takano-san I beg you! I r-really do love you! I'm not lying this time! You have to believe me! Please...'

§§§ Takano's POV

He what...? This is not a dream. And certainly if I was dead I wouldn't feel the pain. So this must be reality. But... how? I can't believe. Hasn't he told me that any kind of relationship between us is out of the question? And yet here he was, on his knees, telling me that he loves me and begging for my forgiveness..? What do I have to forgive him anyway? It was my fault that we were both suffering. I was forcing him. What the hell is going on?

'Onodera' I pulled myself together and spoke. 'Why are you apologising? I was forcing you. Don't make me fell guilty like this. It was all my fault. Back then and now too. It's not like you-' I was cut by his expression. It was... scary. I could see an overwhelming guilt, sorrow, pain and... was that hope in his tearful eyes? Could it be... true what he was saying?

_It's true Masamune. You can believe him. He might have been cruel back then but he isn't that insensitive to lie like that. And he certainly isn't a good actor you know that. You always knew when he was lying. You know that now he tells the truth. Finally._

So it is truth... I'm so... so happy! I can feel tears welling up in my eyes. He loves me! Onodera Ritsu loves me!

'Oh... Ritsu...!' I whispered trying to sit up.

'Takano-san what are you doing! Lay down! You have to- mmmn!' When he was trying to pull me back on my pillows i hugged him and kissed him. I couldn't speak anymore - my throat was so clenched. But I finally wasn't in pain. My god I've never felt better!

I let him go from the kiss but he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. I was shocked at first but i started to respond to his kiss. I was so happy. And so was him - that was what I sensed from the kiss. He was giving his all but this time to convince me that for him I'm as important as he is for me. Finally we ended the kiss when we needed to breath.

'Takano-san...!'

'Ristu...!'

After a while he pulled back and went to call a doctor. I couldn't help but wince a little when I was moving - I was wounded on my chest. When the doctor came he examined me and said that when I want I can go home but I have remember to change my bandages and rest. Finally I leaved hospital with my Ritsu.

'Please, Takano-san, never do this again! You couldn't imagine how horrified I was when I saw you... on the floor... w-with that knife and in p-pool of y-your own... blood.' He winced.

'I'm sorry, Ritsu.'

'How have it happened anyway?' What to do... I can't tell him that I cut myself with a knife to release my pain!

'I was trying to clean my apartament when you two came and I just threw everything I had in my hands on my bed. Then I forgot about that knife when I was going to sleep and while sleeping I accidentaly... impaled myself on the edge.' He visibly shivered.

'Takano-san...' I laughed. I felt so light. 'I do not want to this to happen again too. Don't worry Ritsu I will never throw anything at my bed again.' I glanced at him. 'With one exception'

He blushed beet red. I smirked. Oh yeah I just couldn't wait to embrace him again. Feel his sweet lips on mine. Look at him when he is sweaty, panting and moaning. He is so beautiful...

We were back in my apartament and he just finished cleaning it from my blood. I told him I'll do it but he didn't want to hear me. Instead I tried to make it up to Sorata who was hungry and lonely. Cuddling him in my arms until he fell asleep I watched Onodera who was in my bedroom making sure there is no blood and sharp objects in there. And I couldn't help getting aroused.

'Onodera' I whispered in his ear standing behind him. He shivered. I leaned forward and started kissing his ear. He moaned slightly. I went lower kissing his jaw and down the neck. I turned him that he was facing me and kissed his temple. He lifted his head and kissed me right on the lips. It was a long, passionate kiss. I licked his lower lip asking for enter. He happily opened his mouth and shivered when he felt my tongue licking inside of his sweet mouth. He tried to fight me but he had no chance of winning. When we needed to breath I let go of his lips to go further. Sucking on his neck I pushed him down on the bed lying on top of him. He wasn't trying stop me, for the first time ever. Instead he pulled me closer to his warm body and whispered my name with lust in his voice. I was alredy becoming hard and so was he. I took off his shirt and kissed my way down his beautiful chest playing with his nipples for a while ripping load moans from his throat and finally reaching his already tight pants. I took them off in one smooth move along with boxers exposing his hard cock. Ritsu was panting under me. Then I stopped.

'Ah... ha... ha... T-takano-san. D-don't s-stop!'

'Hmmm? Ritsu do you want it?' I asked while stroking his whole lenght with my hand.

'Y-yes! Yes Takano-san !' He shouted making me even harder than I already was.

'Or maybe you'd like it more when I do this?' I leaned forward and kissed the tip of his dripping wet cock.

'Aaah...! Ahh...' I wanted him so much. I started licking him from hilt to tip slowly and suddenly took him whole in my mouth. He arched his back screming and started to thrust this hips further into my mouth. I swallowed him teasing him with my tongue. I started bobbing my head up and down making him scream with want and need. 'Takano... san... I... I'm... Ah! Aah! I'm going to cum!' Hearing this I started sucking harder and finally I felt his warm seed exploding in my mouth. I sucked him dry swallowing everything. He was panting and writhing under me. I kissed him on lips and he moaned. I reached to the cupboard beside my bed, pulled out the drawer and got a bottle of lube. I opened it and purred some on my hand. He gasped felling my hand at his entrance but I distracted him with kiss and the other hand playing with his nipples. He jolted when I put in the first finger. I circled it making him quiver uncontrollably. He moaned lustfully. I overcame the sudden urge of pounding him in that very moment and added the second and soon the third finger. He went insane. He was shouting obscenities and I couldn't take it any further. 'Ah! Takano-san! In...!' I shivered but teased him for a while. 'Hmmm? What do you want? Can you repeat,Ritsu?' I was still inside him fingerfucking him. He was so tight and warm I was loosing my mind. 'I-in! Takano... san... I... want... y-you... Ah...! IN! INSIDE ME! PLEASE!' In that moment I was lost. I removed my fingers making him gasp for sudden emptiness and using the rest of the lube at my cock I spreaded him wide and positioned myself at his twitching opening. 'Aaaah...!' I entered him and with one thrust went all the way in. I stopped to give him time to adjust to my size and waited kissing and licking his pink and hard nipples until he squeezed his legs around my waist and breathed out 'Now...' I started to move slowly. With the third thrust I went a little harder and he screamed out arching his back from the bed. 'Oh. Found it.' I said playfully but his scream made me harder and I was fighting not to cum inside him just then. 'T-takano-san! Ah! Aah! H-harder!' Ritsu went wild. He was so sexy I couldn't help but obey his wish. I started slamming into him faster and harder with each thrust always hitting his sweet spot making him moan, shout, jolt and writhe and pushing him near the edge. 'Ritsu...'I whispered in his ear and licked it. 'I love you.' He was now shaking violently and thrusting his hips up to meet with my thrusts. 'Cum. Cum for me!' I was so near. His woderful warm and tight hole was sucking me in, his muscles were clenching around my cock. My whisper pushed him over the edge and he came hard, screaming my name, on our chests while I released my cum deep inside him bitting my lips hard.

When we stopped shaking after our orgasms I pulled my cock out of him and he moaned.

'Ritsu' I whispered 'I love you. I love you, Ritsu!' He took a deep breath and answered me 'I love you too Takano-san. I really do.' I hugged him tightly to my chest hearing his sweet words. 'I'm so happy!' He burried his crimson red face into my chest and hugged me back. I kissed his temple and pulled some sheets to keep us warm. It was still December. My birthday was coming. And Christmas. Since eleven years ago it haven't worked out, this time I'm sure it will be the best Christmas of my life - because I will spend it with the person I love the most and I'm sure he loves me back!

'Takano-san stop it! You know you have to!' Onodera was trying to convince me to let him change my bandages. After our shower he remembered that I'm injured and that doctor said I have to do this. Yesterday I didn' feel it 'cause I got some painkillers in the hospital but today it was painful as hell. 'Oh god Onodera it's just a scratch! No need to panick. I do not have to wear all this stuff.'

'Yes, you do! Now stop running away and let me do this!'

'But there is no need to!'

'You're acting like a child, really! Sorata! You have to convince him!' Now that was not fair! Sorata was always taking care of me and now, when Ritsu stopped struggling and admitted that he loves me, they both became friends. I have some "unhealthy" customs and they are having fun trying to make me drop them. Almoast always Ritsu can make me do everything he wants (though it takes him some time) but in situations when I totally don't cooperate he asks Sorata for help. Like this time. Hearing his new friend needs help in taking care of me (as if I need it) he jumped at me and sat on my knees purring and mewling making me stay still while Ritsu came and wrapped new bandage around my chest. 'Done. You see it wasn't so bad.' He teased me. Oh he'll regret it. Very much. 'Thank you, Sorata!' Now he was laughing. I love Sundays. 'Ritsu...' I said to him. He knew that tone. Oh how very good he knew it. I could see him wincing and I smirked evilly. Suddenly I heared the doorbell. It was Yokozawa.

'What the hell, Masamune! What's with this bandage?'

'Hi, Yokozawa. Good to see you too.'

'Stop playing around and tell me what the fuck is that?'

'Oh it's nothing' I smiled. 'I just had a little thing with my kitchen knife but it's all okay now.'

'Kitchen knife?'

'Yeah but as I said it's all okay. Onodera helped me.'

'G-good morning, Yokozawa-san.' said Ritsu still with bandages in his arms. 'I'll go home now Takano-san. You should be okay for now.' He tried to walk past me but I grabbed him by his waist and stopped him. 'Thank you, Yokozawa.' He stared at me for a while. 'By the way' I continued 'do you have any objections about Sorata staying with me? I really missed him.'

After a while he answered 'No... I don't have any... In fact I wanted to ask you if you could take him for a while 'cause lately I'm rather... busy... and I don't spend much time at home.'

'That's great. Now, as you see, Onodera is changing my bandages so... come in if you want but at the moment I can't really take care of a guest.'

'No, no I'm going home. I just wanted to see if you are okay. You were sick y'know. And if you can take Sorata. But now I'm going to have a... meeting so I'll go.' Oooh he's having a date? I'm curious who's his partner! 'Meeting? And who are you meeting with?' I said smiling evilly. 'That's not important here! Anyway I'm going home now. See you tomorrow.' I closed the door when he runned away.

'So Onodera...' he jolted. 'it was that funny, hmm? So let's see... maybe this will be funny too...?'

'Oh no. No! Takano-san!'

_Idiots! Good luck!_

**Phew! Seems like it's over! Thank you very much for reading it. I hope you enjoyed it. I'm very grateful for your comments and I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. And it seems that I suck at lemons... Well... see you at my next project! (I hope so :))**


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